Game changer

HARRY POTTER

Severus Snape & Harry Potter

Note: I don’t even know

COW-T 12, w3, m4: Unicorns prefer virgins 

1123 wordcount

The first time Snape met her, he was strolling through the Forbidden Forest in search for the  roots of a particular flower that should be collected only during the new moon. 

It was for a potion he was trying to brew, a new concoction that would revolution the whole field, if only he were able to get a decent result, back in the days when he was a simple Potion Professor at Hogwarts, when the war was over and it looked like it would never start again, when Severus could pretend he wouldn’t need to take up the role of spy again. 

He saw the unicorn as he reached the clearing, the white mane shining silvery under the star light. He stared at her for what seemed an eternity, thinking the animal would run. Unicorns preferred women, or at least pure hearted people, and Snape was neither a woman nor pure hearted. 

Untouched, oh, yes, that he was, after all, he was Snivellus, the greasy kid with too large a nose and hand me down robes and when he joined the Death Eaters there weren’t exactly much opportunity for anything even remotely resembling romance or even physical attraction, so yes, he was untouched, not even kissed, and it was just as good for him. After Lily’s death he didn’t think he had a right to that. 

The unicorn huffed and neighed at him and then moved toward him. As Severus wasn’t really sure he knew what he should do, he stood still. The unicorn passed him, nudged his cheek with her nose and then went her way, disappearing in the forest. 

She wasn’t exactly his unicorn, Snape wasn’t so stupid to think someone could own a unicorn. It was just that he ended up on her path more often than not when he strolled the Forbidden Forest looking for potion ingredients. It was that she always looked at him and she wasn’t scared and she always looked for a contact with him before going away.
So Severus began to think of her as a part of himself, something he treasured and never revealed to anyone - not that he had any friend to tell. One day, he actually petted her, caressing the white stripe of fur under her horn right between her eyes. And she didn’t run. 

“I was worried about you,” he said and it was the first time he had actually tried to communicate with her. 

He had heard from Hagrid that the gamekeeper had found unicorn blood in the Forest, and Albus had been worried about the Dark Lord and the Philosopher Stone and Severus had nodded and excused himself and went to check on her, desperately hoping it wasn’t her. 

It wasn’t, he breathed, as he saw her, beautiful and majestic as always, unscathed and alive. 

“I’m glad you’re safe,” he said as he petted her and she tilted her head as if she was listening to him. 

It was the first time he talked to her. It wasn’t the last. 

She was as sentient as a magical beast could be, and yet, Severus found solace in her company. He didn’t go to her often, but when he did he had always a treat for her, and he ended up pouring his heart, even if he had told himself he wouldn’t this time, because it was stupid and she couldn’t understand a word of what he was saying anyway. 

And yet, he talked to her. 

And then, one night, somebody heard him. 

Harry shouldn’t be there. The Forbidden Forrest is forbidden for a reason, but he has been there so many times during the years, that he almost feels like the adjective is just there for show. And beside, he thinks as he feels the potion thrumming through his veins, the Felix Felicis that helped him get Professor Slughorn's memories won't fail him now.  

So he follows his instinct, he tucks the vial in his pocket, knowing it won't break and off again he is, hidden under his Invisibility Cloak, lucky enough to never step on any twig, nor to stumble on any roots, smoothly and silently moving through the trees. 

He doesn't know why he's there, doesn't know what he's looking for, or if he's looking for something at all, he just knows he needs to be here. So he keeps walking, and then the potion tells him to stop. Still maniacally grinning, Harry realizes he doesn't know where he is, he has lost his direction. It doesn't matter, he'll found his way back soon enough, but now what? 

In the silence of the forrest, with no noise but his quiet breathing, Harry hears the voice. 

It's dark and deep, he has already heard it somewhere, and he shouldn't be eavesdropping, but there's so many things Harry shouldn't be doing right now, or shouldn't have done in the whole evening, -  in his whole life, -  that one thing more shouldn't be a problem. So Harry gets closer, taking extra precautions to be silent even if his luck would never betray him. 

And as he gets near the words begin to make sense. 

"He asked me to kill him," the voice says, "he asked me." There's despair, maybe even tears, in that voice, and Harry shudders at that more than at the words. He recognizes that voice, he has been hearing it for six years, but never like that. 

"And I had to say yes, of course, I had to."

The trees opens in a clearing and what Harry sees is - it doesn't make sense. 

There's Snape, of course, he recognized him, but he's sitting on a rock, or maybe a tree stump, but his hand slowly threading through the white mane of a unicorn. Maybe the Felix Felicis was expired, and now Harry's having hallucinations. 

“Why are you even still here?” Snape asks, leaning his head against the neck of the animal, “I’m not pure hearted,” he scoffs, “I’m the least pure hearted person in this whole school, you should avoid me like a plague.” 

In response, the unicorn nudges him with his muzzles. It may look like she’s comforting him, telling him to go on, but her eyes are fixed on a point over his shoulder. The same point where Harry’s staying, completely hidden, but not from her gaze. 

Listen closely, she looks like she’s saying him with her eyes, listen closely because this is gonna change everything.
And oh, of course it is. 

Five times Tony screwed up literally and metaphorically (and one time he still did, but just literal

MCU 

Tony Stark/Loki 

COW-T #12, w3, m4: Millionaire playboy 

1565 wordcount 

Five times Tony screwed up literally and metaphorically (and one time he still did, but just literally)  

I. Tony Stark doesn’t need a lecture about things he shouldn’t do, he needs a whole University class dedicated to him and on how not to screw your life over.
Corollary on: how not to do so by screwing one of Earth’s worst nightmares. 

The thing is, when Tony Stark - genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, you know the drill - is threatened he recurs to sarcasm, irony and witty remarks. Really it’s not his fault if that’s also the way he flirts. Somebody should really cut him so slack.
And, if he might add in his defense, he didn’t know being a sarcastic jerk was also Loki’s way of flirting so that they went from trying to up each other, escalating while trying to make the other feel uncomfortable to the point when the ended up actually kissing and hate fucking on every surface of the lounge for hours. 

Not his fault, even if, honestly, Tony should have expected a god to have that much stamina. 

II. Tony Stark is very very smart - genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and really are we still hung on that definition? It was a smart ass remark he had done once to spite Captain Popsicle. 

Anyway, Tony Stark is very very smart, so it’s a given he should learned faster than other people - fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on me, and all that shit.
So how come had he managed to end up in this situation again?  

“It’s because 

“Modest.” 

“You did worship me quite a lot tonight.”
“I don’t call that worshipp- wait a second, is that the way you do it? Because if that’s so, I’ve prayed at the wrong church all this time.” 

“You don’t pray, Stark.” 

“True,” Tony nods, “Still, I could be swayed.”
“Could you?” Loki looks at him with a calculating glance and no, no, abort mission, he can see his thoughts heading down the wrong route. 

“Hey, hold your horses, Shakespeare in Love. You can’t fuck me to your side of the barricade, do you realize?” 

“Of course,” Loki’s still looking at him, and Tony really hopes he’s agreeing to the fact that he won’t be swayed, ever. Like not even in a million years. Why does it sound like ‘of course, I can’? 

“I have principles,” Tony reiterates, just to make it clear. 

Loki hums, and looks at their naked bodies on the bed - at least this time they made it to the bed - as if indicating what he really thinks of the moral fiber of his principles, but spares him any comment. 

Thank him for small mercies. 

III. If one is an accident and twice is a coincidence, then three is a pattern, and Tony has just fallen into one hook, line and sinker. 

Maybe he’s not that bad - because Tony Stark is also a skillful liar, and the person he lies best to is himself.
Maybe it’s not that bad, if Loki’s with him, he surely can’t be out there destroying half the city or planning to take over the world.
Sure Loki can multiply himself - three is the magic number - but Tony’s almost sure that his clones can act on the physical realm just in close range to the original Loki and even then he’s sure enough of himself to know that when he does that thing with his tongue even a god cannot resist him - hey, ‘modest’ wasn’t in the job description. 

And oh, look at him, he’s also collecting intel on the enemy’s abilities. 

Maybe it’s not that bad. Hey, maybe it’s even a good thing. (A fool, he’s a fool, but it’s a thin line between genius and insanity). 

IV. It goes all well until it doesn’t. 

He should have seen it coming, he should have expected some fallout, but Tony is just that much of an optimist. 

There are the Avengers there and they caught him hands in the cookie jar - where the cookie jar is Loki and Tony has his hands in him. 

Then Loki disappears, one moments he’s sprawled under him, moaning in his ear how good he his, clutching his muscles around his cock, clawing at his shoulder as he rocks in time with him, and then - 

“What the fuck?” Steve asks, his best impression of the ‘I’m clutching my pearls’ meme Tony has showed him some days before. 

“Do you mind?” 

Which probably isn’t the best answer he could get, because Steve’s looking at him as if he were about to explode - a sane persone doesn’t get found in bed with one of humanity worst enemy and then just asks for some privacy, but then again, a sane person probably wouldn’t have slept with Loki in the first place. 

- and then Loki’s gone, vanished from under his fingers, and Tony’s left with a bunch of Avengers to deal with, trying to explain to them why he was having sex with Loki of all people. 

As he tries to make it clear to Natasha that no, he doesn’t have that much of a death wish, he can’t help but think that this could have gone another way if Loki had wanted so. He could have made them invisible, while they kept fucking mere inches by Captain America (Tony’s sure this is something Loki would have enjoyed immensely) or he could have left before he could be seen, or he could have told him, or. 

No, he wanted to be found out, he wanted the Avengers to know and Tony to be in deep shit. And oh, how his plan worked. 

V. There’s an internal trial and they pinpoints him to be mentally controlled. Loki never could with his scepter, and Tony’s pretty sure that it was all him and his bad decision making skills that screw it up. Still, they think that him denying it and taking all the blame is a serious proof that he was actually manipulated into thinking so. It wouldn’t be the first time, even if Wanda’s power and Loki’s powers are nothing alike and he should know because he has experimented both of them on his skin and isn’t that amazing how as soon as he gives them some casual intel on Loki’s magic Shield is suddenly much more keen in keeping him free?

It also doesn’t go unnoticed that Tony might have been delusional, but Loki’s attacks on Earth, from a purely statistic standpoint, have drastically reduced. 

They don’t know if that’s a pattern, because that’s just six months, and it doesn’t mean anything in the long run, but it’s also undeniable that just one artifact theft in an Oslo museum in six months is almost boy scout behavior for Loki. 

Tony doesn’t know what to think about it, but Thor vouches for him - Tony would have expected the shovel talk, but considering the ‘I love you, my brother, why won’t you come back to the good side?’ puppy expression Thor always gets when he thinks about anything even remotely connected with Loki, maybe the god of thunder just hopes that Tony could fuck him to their side of the barricade instead of the other way around. And oh, well, maybe that’s a plan that Tony could put in action. 

After all, Tony is really confident of that thing he can do with his tongue. 

+1 

"If you talk again about my brother in such a venue, I shall evirate you and then proceed to lead an alien invasion on a city of your choice." 

Tony stops nibbling at his ear and doesn't comment on the fact that Loki has referred to Thor as 'brother'. 

“Of my choice?”
“I am that magnanimous.”

"Ok, ok, no talking about work in bed," he says and wickedly smiles before licking a stripe of skin, following the column of his neck. 

"It's not work," Loki points out, but doesn't throw him out of the window, so Tony makes the most from what he has. He could be petty and obnoxious and going on telling him that yes, it is, but Tony knows his limits. 

"Fine, no talking about rehabilitative programs and what you are doing to help us, but that is totally not a foot in to the initiative," Tony goes on, because, who is he kidding, of course he won't let him have the last word - he also knows his own limits. 

"Do you realize that telling me Thor would be so happy to have me there is actually a deterrent to join your useless Avengers thing, right?" Loki asks as if Tony where stupid - hello, uh, genius, anybody? 

"I do, but I also hoped to give you an incentive to stay that was way bigger than whatever counterpoint you could have." 

"Bigger, eh?" 

Tony licks his lips in reply. 

"Oh, Stark, you are not that good."

"Yes, sure," Tony doesn't let his grin falter, after all he was really good enough to bring him to their side, and decides to let it go, "Let's just see if that's true.”