Fall of the hero

[danzanelfuoco]

 Fandom: Attack on titan

Rating: Safe

Challenge: COW-T, w4, m2

Prompt: Il Giudizio

Wordcount: 790 parole

 

 

It had been the first time he had touched his brother. 

He wished he could remember if his touch was similar to his dad’s or if the texture of his skin was smooth or rough. It was difficult to tell while they both were in their titan forms. 

It was difficult to tell when they had hold hands just for the second needed by Eren to gather the power of the Founding Titan and go on with the plan. 

Just not Zeke’s plan. 

Eren would have never condemned his friends, his people, his nation to extinction. The problem wasn’t Eldia or Ymir’s offspring or even Paradis. The problem was the rest of the world and their indiscriminate hate and Eren wasn’t gonna bring peace by giving in. The Euthanasia plan was just not an option. 

It had been the first time he had touched his brother. The first and the last.  And he had betrayed him. 

Eren hadn’t even know he had a brother, until four years ago.  

But again, Eren hadn’t know a lot of things four years ago. 

And to think he was happier when he was obsessing about avenging his mother’s death by killing every single titan. It was another life, lived by another Eren, a naive one that didn’t know about Eldians and Marleyans and didn’t care about politics. An Eren that wasn’t acclaimed by the crowd like a savior. Ah, he would have loved the attention once. 

Now there was too much blood on his hands to ever forget. 

“I knew you wouldn’t really go on with Zeke’s plan.”

Eren turned to face Armin. 

With him there was what was left of the Survey Corps. 

Mikasa wouldn’t meet his eyes, gazing at a point over his left shoulder. She wasn’t wearing her scarf. 

It was Connie that took a step and punched him in the face. Eren had expected it would have been Jean. “You didn’t trust us.” 

“I trusted you to save me in Marley.”
“No. You just did what you wanted to. You didn’t trust us. You didn’t tell us your plan.” 

“I needed it done my way. At the end none of you had a say in the matter, none of you could have done anything. I was the one to make that call and I didn’t have time to deal with objections and people who wanted to say their piece. I did what I had to.” 

“You put all of us in danger. People have died.”
“That’s what people do. That’s what we do. We die and we kill so that others can survive."
“Eren -” Armin trailed. 

“What?!” Connie recoiled, while Jean just spitted a “Bullshit!” 

“Is it? Bullshit? The Titans we have killed were human being once - could be humans once more - and we killed them.”

“We didn’t know…”
“Does it make them less dead? Does it make our comrade, dead and maimed and eaten to protect the people inside the Walls, alive again?”
No one answered. 

“Sacrifices are to be made. It’s always been bigger than us, even when it was just surviving. They’re dead and we are not. Not yet, at least.” 

“Not yet,” Mikasa repeated, almost snarled. 

“You want to kill me. It’s fair. And I don’t think it matters anymore if the Coordinate gets lost. So go on. What are you waiting for?” 

Mikasa gripped the hilt of her sword, eyes aflame fixed on him. 

“What are you waiting for?” Eren asked again, feeling the time trickling between his finger, every single heartbeat in his chest a countdown to his last one. 

Saving the Eldians, his people, had costed him time, more time than he had. 

“It’s not worth the effort,” Mikasa unclenched his grip, “I’ve loved you for all my life, but now I realize I had fooled myself in loving the idea of you. Eren, you are already dead.” She turned and left. 

Eren looked at his other companions, faced them, silently asking them if they wanted to kill him. He could see the pain in Armin’s face, the conflict in Connie’s features, in the actual pondering in Jean’s hatred. 

One by one, they left him too.  

Only alone, Eren let himself stagger, let himself lean against a wall, crouching as breathing became more and more painful, as he strength gave way. 

Eren, you are already dead, Mikasa had said. The judgment had been passed. Found guilty of all charges. 

“Yes,” Eren whispered, “yes, I am.”  

He wondered if he would met Petra and Levi and Zeke, if he would see his father again and ask him what right did he have to bring his children into this. 

He wondered if he would just dissolve into the Paths. 

He wondered if…