danzanelfuoco | Higher than our hopes

Severus Snape/Harry Potter

CW: Major Character Death (book 7 compliant), angst, mentions of past underage relationship

COW-T #12, w5, m2: Nessun lieto fine

574 parole

The headstone is covered in lilies and Harry's hands shake, clenched in fists in his pockets.

Hermione has come to him with books on grief, he knows his anger is part of the process, but he wants so bad to trash the grave, unhearthen the lilies planted by his admirers - admirers, ah, as if Severus Snape could ever have admirers.

Harry knows it's his fault, he revelead Snape true allegiance to Voldemort in front of everyone during the Battle of Hogwarts, and then he was the one to go and retrieve the body, to organize the funeral, to clear his name at the Ministry, to show them his memories, to insist he was awarded a damn Order of Merlin, First Class - the one he robbed him in third year when he helped Sirius escape, would that Severus ever let him forget.

And now Harry's angry.

There shouldn't be lilies on his grave, because Severus was never in love with his mother like that and nobody can ever know. He let them thought so when he showed to the members of the Wizegamont the memories, he never denied it, because they couldn't know about them, couldn't know what happened in his sixth year, when Severus was still his professor, and Harry was still just a kid even if he was destined to die to kill Voldemort and had to face more than any normal teenager would ever.

He's angry with Severus because he had to betray him - he had to kill Dumbledore and make him believe he had only used him, he had only tried to win him to the Voldemort. He's angry with Severus because he had be just following orders and never even hint it wasn't otherwise. He's agnry with Severus because he had to die - who even knows about the Voldemort poisonous snake and doesn't take precautions against venoms and snake bites?

Harry's angry, oh, so angry.

Harry's angry with himself, because he had all the pieces, he had the meaning to realize what was happening and he let his hurt feelings cloud his vision. He never realized Severus could have sold him to Voldermort the same night Harry fell asleep on his couch, never realized that he could have given him over times and times again, that Dumbledore wasn't an idiot, he knew Malfoy was trying something and so did Snape and why hadn't Harry put two and two together.

Harry had seen the doe patronus in the forrest and had felt his heart break a bit more, thinking about Snape, and yet he hadn't really realized it could be him - matching patronuses were meant for people who loved each other and so Harry knew it couldn't be Snape's.

Except it was and Severus had kept watching over him and he had loved him, in his twisted sarcastic way, he had loved him.

Harry's angry at him for never telling him, for letting him hang there, hoping against hope.

Harry's angry at him for letting go, for asking him to look at him as he died, and never ever trying to survive.

Harry's angry at himself for letting him die without telling him that he forgave him, without telling him that he loved him.

And now Harry's left with nothing else but a tombstone and lilies. So many lilies.